Football Hooligans

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Adolf Hitler(Ego-Maniac) - Schalke: The Fuhrer was reputedly a fan of Schalke, who won the German title six times while Hitler was in charge of Germany. So we checked and double-checked whether the club board between 1933 and 1945 had named a stand the 'Führer Stand', yes they did.

Idi Amin(Sub-Human) - Hayes FC: The Ugandan dictator became a fan of Hayes as a result of his years spent in the British army (in which he served for 15 years) where he was deeply impressed by a colleague who constantly talked up the achievements of the non-league West London club. The fool believed it.

Colonel Gaddafi(Idiot) - Liverpool: Among the artefacts found after the fall of the Libyan leader was a Liverpool shirt signed by then players, leading some to claim that Gaddafi was a fan of the Reds. The idea isn't actually all that far-fetched: One of Gaddafi's sons, Al-Saadi Gaddafi, was seen regularly in  The Kop.

Radovan Karadzic(Tin-Pot Nobody) - Inter Milan: The Bosnian Serb war criminal was a fan of the Serie A giants due to their signing of Serbian players Sinisa Mihajlović and Dejan Stanković. His nephew sold a story to an Italian newspaper recently that while Karadzic was still a fugitive he risked arrest by going to watch matches.

Osama Bin Laden(Rich&Insane) - Arsenal: Rumours claim that the Al Qaeda chief and mastermind of the 9/11 attacks became a fan of the north London club after watching matches at Highbury several times while visiting Britain & planning terrorist attacks.  He is also said to have bought one of his sons an Ian Wright replica of a wax dummy. Seemingly  at one point, Gunners fans took his supposed fandom well by creating a special chant: "Osama, woah-oh / Osama, woah-woah-woah-woah / He's hiding in Kabul / He loves the Arsenal."

General Franco(Onanist-chronic) - Real Madrid: The Spanish fascist leader was renowned as a fan of the Madrid club, so much so that the club came to be regarded by many almost as the official side of the regime and were referred to openly as 'Franco's “moustachioed” team'. Yet it didn't start out that way: Franco originally supported Real's arch-rivals Atletico Madrid, originally an army side, whom didn’t approve of facial hirsutism!Believe it so, and in fact his later support of Real was as much a case of the dictator jumping on the whiskers bandwagon than to bask in the club's glory in the early days of the European Cup, which they won the first five times it was played from 1956-1960.

Benito Mussolini(Who ate All the Pies?) - Bologna: The Italian fascist dictator was a staunch Bologna fan ( & he was full of Baloney ) from the time they were formed in 1909; the side thrived after he came to power in 1922, winning the Italian title in 1925, 1929, 1936, 1937, 1939 and 1941. Indeed, the club's neo-medieval stadium was heralded by Il Duce as a symbol of his beliefs, calling it, "a shining example of what can be done with a huge bowl & ingredients for making BIG PIES!”.  

Josef Stalin (Mass-Murderer ) - Dynamo Moscow: The club was set up by one of Stalin's most loyal (and feared) henchmen, KGB chief Ivan The (not as) Terrible(but still quite bad) Beria, and was effectively KGB United for several decades. Football was a big deal to Uncle Joe: when the USSR lost an Olympic match to Yugoslavia in 1952, a furious Stalin ordered the army's CSKA Moscow team (which had supplied most of the players) to be sent to Siberia to his “holiday” camps.

Nicolae Ceausescu (Anal Retentive) - Steaua Bucharest: The Romanian side was actually owned by the national army prior to the 1989 revolution, and Ceausescu supported and enabled the enforced hairstyle of the players - among them Gheorghe Hagi and Gheorghe Popescu  without the agreement of either the players or  original clubs.: remember the forced front combed look? It was a policy that helped Steaua win the league for six consecutive seasons in the 1980s, collect the European Cup in 1986, and set a European record of 104 matches unbeaten in the league. With those hair-do’s , you couldn’t blame ‘em! Keep’emPeeled.

Hat- Lady on Kill&Burn Highway

Yeah! It's a "Greenager" Cripes!Keep'emPeeled.

Amy Winehouse -triptych

should be 3 Amys' need to sort it. Keep'emPeeled.

Witches Of Pendle

A COTTAGE believed to be linked to a famous group of 17th-century English witches and a mummified cat were unearthed by workmen in Lancashire, northern England. Water engineers found the 17th-century cottage during excavations in Pendle, and experts think it could be connected to the famous Pendle Witches, a group of 16 women tried for witchcraft in 1612. Malkin Tower was said to be the site of a notorious meeting between the witches on Good Friday in 1612. Keep'emPeeled.

Black Donalds

What a band! Sonic Rape! Never, ever, live your life without being raped by the Black Donalds'. This is tour de force'. You cannot ever rock until these guys roll you. New bass player was a revelation. Whatever you do, go to see/listen to Thee Black Donalds'! Keep'emPeeled.

Socrates - Hero!

Taken from the diary of Plato: circa  During the Spartan uprising Socrates was called to fight for his country. Being a coward by nature he formed a strategy of cunning regarding his deployment ( he would hide when battle commenced ). After he went through the tooling up stage where they gave him a spade & strong sandals ( apparently he would help dig trenches? ), he strode forth into the breach, actually it was a beach ( the warship had arrived at The vicinity Lesbos north, a place Socrates pondered would be much nicer if he were with friends, debating wether air was an heavier element than fire? He mused. Yes, if air could be stuck down ( which it can't ), & fire was given an area to cover ( which it won't ) thence a comparison could be made ( which will never happen )? SOCRATES!, someone was shouting his name. He turned, the calling man's head, burst. When a flaming projectile hits a mans head, it , well, bursts! Fire balls flew through the air, everywhere men were running hither & thither. Socrates pondered. Suddenly he was running. Socrates had never ran, at least not since childhood. The clumsy sandals! They got stuck in the sand. He fell, arms flailing! Socrates pulled onto the rope of a mule that was pulling a cart of spears. The rope got tangled in the beasts ballsack. It gave a huge whinney & ran of into a ditch. The cart full of spears, now free, careered down a walkway & off a ridge. As it fell a fireball hit said cart of spears & sent a cascade of burning spears down on the climbing Spartans'! The usually heroic Spartan warriors, on seeing their comrades up ahead screaming in pain with burning spears piercing them each & everyway, panicked. Signals meant to start a wall of bombarding   Logs were sent to the archers ( who fired into the advancing Spartan front ). Believing that the Greeks had somehow sprang an attack from the middle of the Spartan horde, they started to hack at each other!  Chaos reigned & a fleeing man knocked over a table that Upset a buckets of goose fat that caught alight & spread to the Spartan generals tent. This resulted in a scurry of orders involving the Spartans full retreat! As the Spartans scrambled onto their ships, the news of Brave Socrates & his heroic deeds spread through the Athenian forces. "Socrates Defeats Spartans Single-Handed! ". By then of course, Socrates was well on his way home( scurrying from bush to bush , cave to cave ), vowing never to go to wAr ever again.             Subsequently,  Socrates dined frequently with young soldiers who would bring red wine & good meat for him & his woman ( he'd even get some old sandals & pretend they were the ones he wore & sell them to any young fool who had more money than sense ). His wife would cook away happily  in the cucina as he recounted his bravery, which at each telling swelled into even greater deeds! Plato recalled " Socrates never once admitted his slice of luck that day. Only on his deathbed he whispered to me thus the true story as he'd deduced he could not milk it further. He was a canny man.". 

Bad actors, crappy locations & no script at all! Yeah. A foreign "aRt" film. Bolllox!  A movie should be about entertainment, not some weirdo's obsession with some ugly bitch he was once in love with, used to wank off to( spat at him ), fucking cunt! How can you love someone who has ears that big anyhow? Dumbo! I don' t wanna see some bastard from the other side of the world pissing! OK? I got Qi! I love J-horror, & Godzilla vs Gamera is a masterpiece but, don't give me foreign dudes taking a wee. OK! That ain't entertainment. The Seven Samurai is probably the best film ever made. It's got the lot! Every plot point & character virtue/flaw multiplied by a force of ten! What I don't want is them giving the rim a splash. At least put the seat up! Sorry,honourable person, but they don't got seats where you come from? Go take a dump in the streets, then when insects get stuck in your shit you can sell it as food! Am I ranting? Check out Shinya Sukamoto (sue me if I got it wrong ) for a great big scare! The ending of all endings is to be found in One Missed Call ( every time you think it's all over, it just ramps up the levels for more, more, more! ). Seemingly he (Sukamoto) started wetting the bed( read, uncomfortable sleeping mat in the East ) after watching said Godzilla movie who he believed was created by the atomic bombs dropped by Enola Gay & Pals ( actually his Granpappy told him this in a dream, being vaporised by the above in 1945). Tetsuo, his wet dream, a pure eroticism meshed with machine imagery that for the viewer is intended to indicate a compensation for the lack of softness involved in sex. Perhaps a fundamental  urge for breast-feeding or castration syndrome( in the Fruedian concept ) can be the root of it all. It makes for darn fine J-horror! Coffee, please?  Ringu(The Ring ) sic, possibly the greatest of all psychological serial killing movies due to the motivations of vendetta stands alone;  taking a wiz all over the genre it apes. So, giving the Land of the Rising Sun 10 outta 10, no more taking the piss please( pun intended). Via Copenhagen, Carl Theodore Dreyer & his bastard sons Lars Von Trier/Thomas  Vinterberg, run amok! Iconoclasts of the highest calibre. They chucked away the tripod of Zen & replaced it with reality ( shaky stuff ), & a pinch of Reisenstal's Nurembergs' Rallies' ( if you remember the '40's you weren't really there ). Dogme ( the genre, not the sexual activity ), please? Von Trier writes his production notes on the wall of his office, so like Abbey Road Studios London, it gets a white wash every now & again; a shame for collectors of such incomprehensible prose. Yet they worship at the altar of pure cinematography. Attention to detail is paramount! Make a wrong edit-"you're fired!". You see, going over the top is all about trying to get to the enemies trench before a bullet/s end your mission. Then, you have to kill the enemies, then you have to regroup & get ready for the next over the top. How long can you keep it up? Before the audience walks out. A pebble in your shoe. Mmm, no, just entertain, OK? Why do people like Keyboard Cat? It's a guy under the table moving the cats arms to the beat ( mic' it up & it would sound like a crock   'o shit now ). Not to be confused with the Greatest work of all World Cinema" Apocalypse Now" . Platoon/Full Metal Jacket et al. La Haine( the Hate ) sic, signalled the last days of celluloid. Ape mimic Ape? Spike Jones, different class. The Pizza Parlour smash-up is intoxicating ( watch it on DVD then pause & try to get up off your sofa,..yeah?).Wim Wenders & co'. Werner Hertzog blah,. Jean Luc Godard blah. All greats. With Film you can create then waffle about what you meant. Johnny & his merry bunch of compatriots will never tire of this( in broken English, or blank-aise). With furrowed eyebrows & dark undertones locked into each phrase they, well, look into the distance while prattling on about the existentialism inherent in their work. They wish to share their vision with the world & without them, the world would be a an empty place. Dead As Disco. We should embrace World Cinema. Look beyond the sometimes squalid ness of the surrounding environment & join an obscure film group. Actually start one @yourplace.com. Invite friends from FaceBook you've never met to your home, to watch some weird crap about an Eastern gentleman taking a piss. Go on! Nobodies watching, honest. I can't finish without a nod to " Old Boy". What a movie! Sick & Perverted, it remains a vision of male dominion over the gentler of genders that all assholes should beware of. Cast the first stone, ye who is without sin.  Keep'emPeeled.

All truths, innovations are in the beginning, blasphemies. Mmm? Yet who is to deny the way forward if in such way therein waits the destruction of the status quo? Everything you once believed in was in effect, smote, abandoned? What then? You can yell "I'm a celebrity! Get me outta here?". The bugs, the snakes, the creepy-crawlies will keep on smothering ya! Hell? Heaven? Where will you end? That's what you think about when your nearly dead. Keep'emPeeled.

Brainwashing

Numbers, permutations, ratios', there are many ways where the Math does it. Do The  Math! The King who said "Whatever you desire?". " 1 gold piece on the 1st square of a chessboard then double it on the next then et al for the rest" replied the wily man. The king was bankrupt well before the board was filled. Numbers are slippery. In thinking we try to find patterns until we find recognition. Of a situation.  Governments/Institutions try to abolish thought. They set up routine patterns of thought so that thinking is no longer needed. This works; people are lazy & so are easily brainwashed. Once you become content, you are complacent & ready to be controlled. Keep'emPeeled.

Ruski Rokkerz

Them Redz know how to take it 2 the streez!

Nextday private8/20/2011 On this day "Nextday" was indexed into the calendars of the world. An abstract form of time that now is abridged for the Newcomer. Stuck like parenthesis to explain the unfathomable; kids replaced it for "Whatever!" but being dumbed down for 3 decades meant that instead of postponing an event, they were inadvertently proclaiming prophecy! Things began to go awry. Quickly! Soon society would sound like sedition. OK! This is in the Future of Possibility. See if I care? When Nextday becomes, all things will change. Light brings enlightenment; Time brings versatility

CC Land 1

After the Riots I noticed all the CCTV masts on my local high street, lots. Big Brother indeed!

The Eye & Big Ben(distant).

I used a stylus and DrawCast to create this on my iPhone. A filter from PhotoShop app made the original daytime into night. Anyway Sunday so As it's not raining I'm taking my scooter for a spin. Later Y'all.